What kind of title is this?! There is no psych to buying diamonds! But in fact there is, as many men lack the knowledge of the symbolism of diamonds to the women in their lives. As 4 me, it’s particularly convoluted, my coveting them as much as I do: it goes back to a father who was stingy w family resources, and that included anything that was a want, not a need. Dad was loathe to buy even an oil seascape painting to decorate our living room bare walls…much less something costly like a diamond. So the more u couldn’t get something like that, the more u wanted it. U know that old life trope, wanting is more pleasing than having, right? But yet u seek that which is rare, beautiful, and indicative of strong love…as a child who had not enough love from dear old Dad, as he was unaffectionate…and withholding of many things…so the desire of diamonds grew as I grew up. An exception was dear old Mom’s engagement ring tho: Dad had his mother pick it out and pay for it too, and she understood how important a symbol it had to be, to show how her son, my Dad, was a man making good money, thus a good catch…and to cement the marriage to come. Who knew that this beautiful 2 carat ring w begets on the sides, was going to go for $2800 some 20 years later, or so, after the divorce? Mom’s mother took it to the Diamond District in Manhattan to sell it, as money was more necessary at that time than this beloved symbolic ring, of a marriage dissolved. Mom and I both cried at the losses, and the recriminations inherent in a bad divorce settlement. The engagement ring was just one more casualty. But while my parents had had the love of their marriage, it was a particularly beautiful thing to behold. And so rich looking, because Grandma Frieda knew of how it spoke volumes about how serious a man was, and how he was a catch also. And how it would seem to the woman receiving the gift as well. So it had to be big, as close to flawless as possible, round cut, nice clear color. I remember it, even now, so many years later.
But diamonds can be given in other forms than the quintessential engagement ring. And have been, in time immemorial…especially by my mother, to me, because she also understood the power of diamonds, to show love to someone, unconditionally, in gratitude for services given, or just for being a good daughter. Repeatedly, my mom bought me different jewels, over the years that she had some money, from an inheritance from dear Aunt Rae…of which I was the executrix of that estate, beginning November 1997, when she passed away. So many beautiful things including from Tiffany’s, earrings, rings containing clear diamonds of superior quality…which had the effect of flabbergasting me w their extraordinary beauty. But no engagement ring was acceptable, not from my mom, of course not…it had to be from a man who would come to love me, some day in the future…still hoping, and waiting on that one…but ok, I am still free to do as I please! No controlling behaviors of men in my life. I observed this this past weekend too: a man w his long time girlfriend, who lives w him, and he clearly controlled her behavior: he indicated when it was time to leave the restaurant, even tho she clearly wanted to go home, which was a long distance away. And it was getting late to go back to Massachusetts at 7:15pm…and he drives too fast also. Yup, to be controlled is not desirable. U r ignored as to your own desires, especially irritating because it has to do w safety. This girlfriend was wearing a diamond cocktail type ring w blue sapphires flanking the center diamond. I took pix of it, wondering if it was a cheap engagement ring, but I concluded it wasn’t. I didn’t think it appropriate to ask.
A man who was trying to claim me in 2010, was a nurse’s aide at a hospital, actually caring for my father at the time, in the Bronx, and he said he would take me to a jewelry store the next day, to go get an engagement ring…but I saw the light of him, and ran away, that same night, from a Yonkers hotel…as he was scheming, and I saw it for what it was. Good riddance! No ring, but better off without it and him. And then, over the years, I amassed quite a collection of jewelry, of many interesting things, eclectic, beautiful, from many parts of the world as well…as some dear friends have a jewelry store they manage in New Canaan, CT, a tony New England town, so pretty to look at in the holiday season…and I often find things to love there, and do buy. I am lucky to have some very rare pink diamonds from them, in a ring, several years ago bought at a great price! Other beauties as well. One day, my jewelry will be divvied up by my executrix, who will consult a listing which is incomplete, of jewelry that has been appraised, and who should get what, but at her discretion. And if she chooses, she can even sell the whole kit and kaboodle, to have cash on hand, to operate the condominium, and pay the monthly common charges due, before it gets sold off itself. It takes some time to empty an apartment of many belongings, sell off what isn’t wanted, and prepare the condo for sale, so it looks good to prospective buyers. I know of all this, as I have been an executrix repeatedly in my own life. It’s a lot of work! I served for 5 different relatives. None of these people owned their own apartments, or were in need of relinquishing real estate, at the time of passing. I merely became a landlady upon my father’s passing. Co-owner w uncle Sidney. One day, my cousin Glenn took over Sidney’s estate, and then we decided that we were going to sell off the considerable real estate holdings that the 3 of us owned, at that point. And Glenn’s son and daughter also had a piece of it too, to help w their college costs, a smaller percentage.
But back to diamonds. This desire is deep, to have the love of my life, who is but a figment…give me that love that is wanted above all things, because love is life after all….and the most important thing in life. Without love, the flower withers, and dies. The flower is my heart and soul, which hopes for the love of my life, and gives it hope to go on…as this desire is my way of going on, for time immemorial, unending, infinite love, like the babbling brook, ageless & evergreen. Like a diamond. There is no better thing that elicits tears of joy, to love and be loved, mutually. But in the meantime, there will always be diamonds, which r forever, as sung by Shirley Bassey, in a James Bond movie, “Diamonds Are Forever.” Or Carol Channing singing “Diamonds r a Girl’s Best Friend.” Yup. In loving memory of mom, who gave me so many of them, dainty and beautiful, kept till my dying breath, 4ever. These pictures show the young lady w the live in boyfriend, who was visiting for the Thanksgiving holiday, and the butterfly diamond ring was bought this weekend from my good friends in New Canaan. Her diamond ring looks not quite blue sapphire at the sides now, see? What stones r they? Guess we won’t know. The babbling brook is near my house in Forest Hills.
marshaenewman 