When we do good in the public interest, like serving food, delivering goods that r particularly necessary in times of COVID-19, donate money to the worthy causes, including especially those who make masks and other medical grade personal protective equipment for those on the front lines…food banks, pantries, donating needed blood, for those especially who need it, like sickle cell patients, accident victims, those who bag your groceries and ring them, the educators who had to learn in a hurry how to make lessons for distance learning online…and keep doing that, day after day, w assignments sent via email, to be graded probably pass fail now, but maybe harder, because u have no time to catch your breath, to change everything….first responders everywhere, police, firefighters, EMS (Emergency Medical Services), the RN’s and MD’s, all aides, who do backbreaking work, turning patients who r hooked up to machines, semi-conscious or unconscious, dead weight then, because if u don’t turn people every 2 hrs, they will get a pressure ulcer on their skin…emptying urine bags for the catheterized in ICU’s, imagine even the simple task of changing soaked sheets, due to leaking unconscious humans, w a person who is dead weight, and u can see those people r heroes too. Even the janitors, who keep the environment clean, who r essential! Changing diapers too. “For the last will be first, and the first last”…alpha and the omega, Greek alphabet, 1st and last letters, as to who makes Heaven, and what their positions will be…Biblical injunctions made real in today’s world. Those who had little to nothing r dying faster now, due to overcrowding and socioeconomic realities of the Ghetto.
I know from whence I speak, having had little to having much, the difference is stark in the statistics of my current zip code and the one I came from, both in epicenter City of New York, 10467 in the North Bronx, and 11375, Central Queens, Forest Hills. Tho Queens is hard hit also in the Pandemic, the big death zip codes r all around me, but not as much in my current neighborhood, which is 39.2% not white population. Only 9.1% below the poverty line here, which is relatively low, compared w citywide averages. Cases per 1000 residents of COVID = 19.4 as of May 14, 2020. Positive testing rate of the disease = 37.67%. COVID case rate: 1423.
And now 10467: the Bronx. Cases per 1000 pop: 29.7. + testing rate of disease: 43.12%. 77.4% not white population. 27.9% below the poverty line. Actual incidence of cases: 3085. When u r poor, and/or a minority group, u r much more likely to get the disease and even die. That is the wages of sin, death. Even tho we all die, rich and poor, it is unjust, the disparity. I literally went from desperately poor to struggling to wealth, all due to the perfidy of my ancestors, who shall remain nameless. I have forgiven them. But it was a function of divorce, blaming, judgment against me and my mom, for whatever we did or didn’t do, even tho the system is set up to make especially women fail. Especially women w children, and maybe insufficient skills, or maybe birth defects, due to being born in the throes of the Great Depression, my mom was, in 1935, when my grandparents didn’t even have enough money to move out of grandma’s small Bronx apartment…even when that baby came, there was no health insurance, no prenatal care, and a mother who smoked all thru the pregnancy…my mom was born into unequal status, through no fault of her own, just an innocent baby in the womb of a poor couple. Born w lifelong limitations, my mom even managed to somehow graduate high school and go to work as a secretary afterward, and all that her life goal was to capture a man, to have a marriage and a baby with…it was all we could hope for, at the time, for her.
Desperate to find such a man, and escape very strict rigid parents, poverty too, going from apartment to apartment, probably because rent was a major burden to overcome, and keep paying…My father however came from money, from his parents as immigrants even, w their own business, which was growing…but they were a bad match, my parents, and it became clear rather quickly, not only in backgrounds, but also values, money management, how many kids, well, ultimately just me, from that union. Dad didn’t even know that mom had borne another daughter before me, before he met mom, even tho she had visible stretch marks on her abdomen. And also, if he had any education like I had, he would have known that fast labors r atypical for first time mothers, and this writer was born in a mere 4 hrs of labor. But he was not educated thus. And the prior daughter was given up for adoption some 7 yrs before my arrival, a closed chapter. At least until I was in my 42nd year of life, when we found her!! And mom’s parents were both dead, and I wanted a sister, really a lot! We both cried for joy, even tho it turned out that we were lucky to have an 8 year interaction w my mom still alive, and we met several times over those years, mostly happily, even tho there were a few judgment problems between mom and her first born daughter. I was the bridge between them, to bring them to a place where they could coexist and accept.
And then, one year after my mom died, in 2015, my half sister and I had a knock down drag out email fight, and we became estranged as a result. That continues to this day, but I remain open to reconciliation, especially knowing that we live in an age where death is surrounding us, especially me in Pandemic Central NYC, and I have several pre existing conditions such that getting the infection would likely = death, so I try like hell not to be exposed to anyone, unduly, fighting every single day, even tho it’s lonely and hard, day in, day out…And she is also at risk, being very isolated also, w only a spouse for backup, and a few friends, neighbors, but who will be close enough to save her, to be a health care proxy, in case of either her or her spouse’s death or incapacity?? Eventually, we all face those questions. I keep admonishing friends here that they need life insurance, desperately! Because accounts get frozen upon a person’s death, unless u r a joint tenant w them. And no one has confronted the reality of death, or how to pay for it, or even how to survive post death, when your significant other is gone…can u pay the rent, or the mortgage, or do u have enough life insurance to tide u over?? Or pay for that rising death bill…just days ago, one of my closest friends lost her elder sister, and there was no money, and also no life insurance…and only but for a large credit line of the surviving brother, who refuses to pay also, but did, ultimately…Anna would have gone to an unmarked mass grave in Potter’s Field otherwise. No possibility of visitation evermore either. Not everyone has a wealthy brother w a big credit line. Get on it, while u still have your wits, because Alzheimer’s Disease runs deep in our family, dear sister. And u can’t escape your genes, believe me. She is 7 yrs older than me, now going on 63 yrs old, this June. And I stay open as a loving and forgiving sister, if she wants to reach out. Life is short and it’s important also to go to one’s death w a clear conscience.
Ask anyone who knows me: I am a very loving, kind person. The kind anyone who would be glad to have, generally. When people give me up, it’s usually due to some issue within themselves, that they need to do the self work, because I am reasonable. When they won’t do such work, well, it’s on them then. I tried. Love is not just a function of money, but really the heart.