Things Not to Do, Part 2

  1. Be a slut and run for office.
  2. Be a whoremaster and expect to know how many children you actually fathered. What, you expect all those vengeful bitches are all gonna tell you?
  3. Be a contender for The Iron Throne: you are apt to swim with the fishes. (In the Soprano’s parlance, that would be getting whacked.).
  4. Shoot up heroin, meth, etc. You are likely to die from it because Fentanyl will be mixed in and OD is the result. Every day 4 Americans die this way.
  5. Mix Geritol with Viagra, Cialis, or the like. Hang it up.
  6. Stand on your terrace naked. As long as you are in your home, it’s ok, but really not on the terrace, damn it! I told you, you can’t be naked outside!
  7. If you are prone to getting an erection at the beach, avoid wearing Speedo’s. Likewise, be advised that cold water doth harden nipples, involuntarily.
  8. Wear stilettos in ice, snow and sidewalk grates, unless you welcome imprisonment.
  9. Get fitted for a chastity belt.
  10. Leave a drink unattended with someone who wants to screw you. How do you know you won’t be rufied?
  11. Wear chain mail at a Game of Thrones event. They will think you are cannon fodder.
  12. Avoid buying stock in adult diapers as 10K Americans age 65 every day.
  13. Be a driver who’s blind, on illicit drugs, on prescribed drugs that cause impairment of judgment, reflexes, etc, or even too sleepy, which is the same thing. All of these mean you don’t care about yourself or your fellow man. Add in drunk too; over 0.08 BAC (blood alcohol concentration).
  14. Allow peers or elders, who are clearly impaired, to drive. That makes you an accessory to any killing they do.
  15. Collaborate with spies or traitors. You don’t want to know what happens in Black Ops sites, unless you prefer to die by torture.
  16. Finally, be an ostrich with head in sand, regarding your own children. Times have changed radically. Do teach them to navigate the muddy waters of this world now. And yes, that means NO SEXTING! Naked pix and the internet are forever, you naked terrace guy!!!!
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50 Shades of Submission, Male

Ok, setting a scene here: I need a submissive man to come to me. Someone who likes to be dominated, a la studs and black leather, stilettos and fishnet stockings, with props. He should wear only a pair of Speedos, and be prepared to be bound and walked like the dog he is, to me. I will castigate him, pet him, let him lick me if he does well in his role, that he has requested that I fulfill, for him, because he is a very important businessman, who if the truth came out, would be thrown out of the corporate boardroom, and summarily dismissed with his Golden Parachute. He wants to be humiliated. This gets his rocks off. I like to accommodate men. Give them their most secret fantasies. Tell no one, because the silence is intoxicating, that only he and I know. He knows of what I speak, and in his mind’s eye, there is cashmere, silk sheets, pillows piled high, to get certain rewards, after the scene. My breasts are always a source of arousal for him, he loves them boundlessly…And even though I am plus size, that really doesn’t matter, because we are on the same wavelength, and I give him what he dares not voice to anyone else. I have him by the balls, you see, in a sex toy store, he likes to be bound, but then released, and when release comes, it is beyond sweet. We do a dance before meeting too, which is also calculated to increase susceptibility to orgasm. In fact, it’s all I can do to him to keep him in check, but I have my moves too, and am a grand master of this game.

 

Yes, we are well matched. Even if the outward lady here is sickly sweet, demure, proper, but in the arena of love, quite the Panther. He will become my slave, happily aroused, sated, in a lather of froth, going on and on, over the years…because no one who tastes this sundae ever forgets, or is able to put it in the past. I am addictive. You have been warned.

Oh, you thought this was real life scenario? Don’t you guys know that I am a writer, and my blog is my therapy? It works too, to drain the swamp of desire. But a few readers know of what I speak here, their names die on my lips. “Perchance to dream…”- W. Shakespeare, Hamlet. Have at it, boys and girls: dreams can come true, with the right person.