Compassion edges out hatred and bitterness
In our newly discovered brown world
Where what we were before is no more
Where many tears replace the flares of anger
Where forgiveness is only an ideal we can aspire to
Where love is buried deep in a fertile earth
No longer for him but someone yet to come.
Still my heart is swayed by his multiple, frightful plights
Hoping he can heal a tortured spirit after a wounded body
Wondering what I can do to help even though I remain hurt
Even though he broke who and what I was before
Some for the better, more for the worse
We may never even talk again as friends or anything else
But the fiery hatred is ebbing away
Instead, I am drawing from a past of loyalty, commitment
To reinitialize my working memory to one of caring.
Speaking to a deeper part of both of us
With witnesses shaking their heads
What fresh madness is this? To hate savagely–
To visit the hospital on truce, bring flowers, a card lost…
A letter, money from one who will not even call
Because there is nothing more to say but get well
After near death and life-changing alterations in bodily integrity.
Still I pray that he can heal from the many wounds
Even as I purge myself of the ugliness and am reborn
To the witnesses as a better creation in spite of the never-ending pain.
His physical wounds are the manifestation of my emotional ones
And neither of us will ever be the same anon.